Difference between Love and Desire...

Let me share a story with all of you. Once there was a boy who was in deep love with one girl. Boy was very caring and possessive about her. He was never able to see her in pain. But one day when he was very much busy with his office work he forgot to call her. Unfortunately that was the day when they met for the first time and he forgot about that. Girl wanted to gave him a memorable surprise. So she arranged for a wonderful candle light dinner and was desperate to share all her feelings and memories with him that day. She decided not to eat anything until the guy comes. She was feeling hungry but was so much in love with him that it did not strike to him that the night has already passed. The boy came in the morning frustrated and tired. I hate you -- get out of my life!!!" she said when he finally arrived. She was furious about everything which happened that night. The candles had already burned out.

She loved him so much that she got enraged, and told him she wants a breakup and never want to comeback again! Obviously to that guy, girl no longer loved him, so he left, hurt and upset, and spent the day somewhere else. She was even more hurt that he stayed away from her the whole day also.

Of course, she loved him very much. She understood that. She could feel that her heart beats only for him. But how could she love him and hate him at the same time? She wondered, and he wondered, and with no clear answer they drifted apart.
She didn't understand that love is more than a feeling of pleasure. Girl’s anger meant that he was very important to her. Otherwise she wouldn't care at all. But a small misunderstanding drifted them apart and both of the people thought that the other one is wrong. And both of them spent rest of their lives suffering with great pain thinking about each other. They wasted there lives just because of a small misunderstanding :( and spent rest of their days suffering with pain of betrayal.

It’s a very common problem with all of us that we don’t want to understand the feeling of others and want to carry the relationship in our own ways. We fail to understand that love means to sacrifice, to care and to respect each other. We don’t want to change ourselves for the sake of others even if that leads to the suffering for a lifetime. We get so much busy with ourselves that we failed to realize that there is one more life which depends upon you. We forget about this fact that there is one more person in your life whose destiny go along with yours.

Let me share one more real story with you from my life experiences. There was a friend of mine who was really close to me. I met him in Delhi only. He was engaged to one girl and both were in true love with each other. They were so close to each other that everybody used to give their example whenever they discuss about the existence of true love. But life never remains the same. One morning when my friend woke up, he got a phone call from her girl friend that she wants a breakup and she did not want him to call her again ever in his life. He was shocked. He felt a deep pain within his soul. He goes in depression for few days. He started to hate her for that betrayal and decided to move ahead with his life. Slowly we all forget about what happened. Then after few weeks he came to know that the girl was suffering from some disease which was not curable and she just did not want her boy friend to waste his life for the sake of her. She was in hospital since last so many days. By the time we could have reached there she was already died!!! She was silent and smiling. Her soul was in peace. I felt a feeling of deep pain inside me. When I tried to talk to that guy he was speechless. His mind was in subconscious state as if he doesn’t know what’s going on all around him. He just managed to say a few words to me which made me cry. He said to me “If I would ever get a chance in my life to decide between love and death than I will choose death. Love hurts more than that”. He does not want to have love ever again in his life. He does not want any other girl except her to come into his life again. I could feel his pain but I was just not able to help him in any way. I was helpless. I did everything whatever I could but he has to live along with this intolerable pain for his entire life himself. I wish I could have done something magical for him.

The first meaning of love what I have understood is how much you care and respect for the feelings of the other. Creating a close, loving relationship is not at all difficult to understand. The condition is that both the people should know that love demands sacrifice and there is no harm if you can change yourself a little bit for the sake of other and to make your relationship long lasting. Both the people should have flexible point of view about each other and they should not get very much strict about anything. Both of them should know how to neglect small things which can spoil their relationship and should know how to forgive each other. Sometimes people spoil their relationship just because of other people who start to interfere in their lives. We should not think about the humors spreading around. All these things happen when one person don’t trust the other. We should listen to the voice of our heart. We should try to feel that pain that how much other person would suffer when you would leave him/her. And if you are not sure that you would not be able to live up to your promise then its better not to love. Both of them should understand their responsibility towards each other. They should try to make each other happy by giving happy small surprises at regular intervals and should try to trust each other from the bottom of their heart. They should try to not to do anything which can hurt the other one and both of them should give it a thought how to make each other’s life more comfortable. They should be aware of this fact that their destinies are connected to each other and deeds of one would have the direct impact on the life of the other. We should be strong enough to fulfill our promises:) There is nothing wrong in loving someone but we should understand the difference between desire and true love. It all depends on the simple, basic rules of listening, understanding, and empathizing with what is important to your loved one.

The worst thing with love is that it never comes alone. It brings other feelings also along with itself like hatred, jealousy, sadness and pain which you feel when someone breaks your heart but if you have truly loved somebody you would start to love that pain of separation also. I listen to this somewhere that if someone has truly loved you it's not possible that he/she would never comeback to you. And if he/she really never comeback then his/her love was not true!!!